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Monthly Archives: November 2018
I’m Being Blackmailed!!!
I received this ominous and unscrupulous email, which was in my inbox, to me, from me, without the pictures as follows:
[Begin email]
I have bad news for you.
19/07/2018 – on this day I hacked your operating system and got full access to your account.
It is useless to change the password, my malware intercepts it every time.
How it was:
In the software of the router to which you were connected that day, there was a vulnerability. I first hacked this router and placed my malicious code on it.
When you entered in the Internet, my trojan was installed on the operating system of your device.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged #amblogging, #bitcoinscam, #comedy, #humor, #porn, #pornscam, #sarcasm, #scam, hack
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The Deuce
There must be something to be said about the connection between advertising and bowel obsession. Several years ago, commercials proclaimed the wonders of yogurt, which could assist in the gastrointestinal process of food going into the pie hole, and coming out of the brown eye. Thanks for the overly graphic anatomy lesson, but I was already in-the-know.
Recently, I was watching the boob tube, when an interesting commercial aired. A beautiful woman’s face filled the frame.
Spoiler alert: Pan out and we see that this woman is sitting on the toilet with her underwear around her ankles, which pretty much spoils any previous thoughts one might have had about this hot blonde.
Posted in #amblogging, #sarcasm, Sarcasm
Tagged #advertising, #bowel, #comedy, #dating, #deuce, #humor, #humorous, #obsession, #poopemoji, #toilet, #veryimportantpoopers, #vip
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Bloody Women
Many solar eclipses ago, I knew a guy who always carried a towel. He was an employee of the father of a friend. Whenever he came around, he would always place his towel on a chair before sitting down.
Was this dude a character straight out of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Besides this one obsession, he didn’t seem to exhibit any other OCD behaviors, and he didn’t seem like a neat freak. To the contrary, he was usually somewhat disheveled and more than a little sweaty.
So one day, I finally ask the guy: “Why do you always sit on a towel?”
Posted in Religion, Sarcasm, Sex
Tagged #amblogging, #amwriting, #bible, #bibleverses, #christianity, #comedy, #douglasadams, #god, #hitchhiker, #humor, #judiasm, #leviticus, #menstruation, #satire
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Deathbed Regrets
A fellow Redditor was questioning the purpose and meaning of life. This person felt that life had more meaning with religion, but had become an atheist and was thinking that life now had less purpose.
I didn’t and don’t understand this. I was going to approach this question numerous different ways. In the end, I focused on the end game, and was very proud of a few thoughts. Feel free to reuse.
The meaning and purpose of life is easily answered when hand-delivered to you via religion.
Focus on relationships, and the here and now. Deathbed regrets don’t lie.
Posted in Religion
Tagged #afterlife, #aging, #death, #dying, #heaven, #midlifecrisis, #religion, #spirituality
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Little Adolf’s Swastika Binky
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-46151838
This news item was pure comedy. Three people have been convicted for their membership in a Neo-Nazi white supremacy group. Two of them had a child together and named the kid “Adolf” after their revered idol.
Proud father, Adam Thomas, has the right white name, with blue eyes to match. The mother, Claudia Patatas, might only be able to pass the white trash test.
Next we learn of a fourteen year age gap. Perhaps someone has taken advantage of someone else. Thomas, age 22, who has a quick eye for determining who has the white right, versus Patatas, age 38, who has the ability to make a man turn a blind eye.
Posted in #sarcasm, Comedy, Sarcasm
Tagged #adamthomas, #adolf, #adolfhitler, #amblogging, #banbury, #Bogunovic, #claudiapatatas, #danielBogunovic, #nazi, #neonazi, #patatas, #thomas, #whitesupremacist, #whitesupremacy
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The Donald Manhandles Men
Bring up The Donald and before anyone says anything further, everyone becomes immediately pissed off, no matter which side they are on.
Love him or hate him, I still believe the reason the orange monkey was elected is because people were tired of political correctness as part of the status quo. Politicians typically answer questions so pc-like, that they don’t answer the questions for fear of alienating any one being or entity, even down to the League Of The Five-Legged Frog Lovers.
I must agree that the orange man is often childish and vindictive. Before getting angry for or against, please step back from your convictions for a couple of minutes to appreciate that you never have, and probably never will, see a President manhandle a press conference the way the Donald does.
Posted in #Politics, Trump
Tagged #acosta, #acostatrump, #aprilryan, #cnn, #fakemedia, #jimacosta, #manhandle, #orangemonkey, #peteralexander, #potus, #press, #pressconference, #trummpacosta
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Fun with Fags and Faggot Food
In doing research for my book, Sex in the Name of God, I happened across some interesting words and ways.
For bible tidbits regarding homosexuality, which got lumped into the chapter called Beasts and Buttholes, I frequently did synonym searches for homosexual and gay, as well as penis and balls. The results list was staggering and more than amusing.
Of course fag and faggot made the grade. Older folks might recall common usage of the word fag to be a cigarette (drag a fag), and faggot was a bundle of sticks.
Posted in #amblogging, Comedy, Religion, Sarcasm, Sex
Tagged #amwriting, #derogatory, #english, #fag, #faggot, #faggotfood, #lbgt, #lbgtq, #pc, #queen, #queer, #smearthequeer, #testicalfestival, #unpc
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