Monthly Archives: February 2019

Penis Blob Blog: The Lorena Bobbitt Documentary

I got hooked on the 4 episode special entitled “Lorena” by Jordan Peele. Lorena Bobbitt is the lady famously known for cutting off the penis of her husband, John Wayne Bobbitt. The tossed out pecker was later found and surgically reattached.

What followed was a media frenzy, court cases, mud-slinging, and literal freak shows.

Mrs. Bobbitt claimed she was an abused woman, repeatedly hit and raped. Mr. Bobbitt said nothing doing. This he-said, she-said situation polarized the nation along gender and ethnic lines as Lorena is from Venezuela, and John is a white-bred, white bread American. read more

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Why I Can’t Do Action Movies

Been there, done that. I can no longer enjoy a movie where elements are so similar I don’t feel like I’m in for any plot surprises. I’m annoyed watching it go down.

The Good Guy: He is smart, handsome, and strong. When faced with twenty assassins, all coming at him from different directions at the same time, he can kill each one quickly. One karate chop to the neck, one head twist, one kick to the abdomen, and voila, all dead. But then there’s the really bad guy, who for some reason becomes a ten minute brawl, until the good guy prevails or the bad guy gets away. If this happens toward the end of the movie, it might turn out that the bad guy isn’t really dead. He rises for his final attempt of murder, and is killed again; and maybe even again and again. read more

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Don’t Look a Gift Goat in the Mouth

I hesitate to cite my source for the inspiration of this blog.

https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/if-churches-want-to-get-millennials-to-enter-their-doors-they-need-to-do-this

This ad . . .  er um . . . article, by Judah and Chelsea Smith, is about getting folks back into religion, including brick and mortar churches. Unfortunately for those on the take, millennials and others prefer to experience the world on Sunday, rather than sit-in for some dude’s dialogue that distorts the disturbing bible into a random feel-good or doom-and-gloom speech. read more

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Butt and Book Plug

Butt and Book Plug

From Sex in the Name of God:

Chapter 8: Of Beasts and Buttholes

I think we should get the bestiality suit out of the way right now. It wasn’t a goat. It was a sheep.

– Bob Newhart

If you wear an earring in your right ear . . . in England that means you’re gay. In Australia it’s when you’ve got your cock in another man’s ass.

– Steve Hughes

Besides blood, the other evil B’s the bible won’t tolerate are beasts and buttholes. But first, let’s talk words. The author of this book kept getting a spell-check error for “beastiality”. After doing some research, the writer has been schooled, but still thinks that “bestiality” appears to suggest behavior at its best. Go figure. read more

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This Skirt Was Just Asking for It

Or: How to Demean a Female Teen

Yes, schools are losing more and more power to students, not something I entirely agree with. But slut-shaming via dress codes is another issue entirely.

Laura Orsi (left) and Clara Mitchell (right) are students at Parkview Arts and Science Magnet High School in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Take a look at this picture and see if you think this “skirt” was just asking for it.

From Laura Orsi’s Instagram:

Yesterday, Clara Mitchell wore the same skirt I have on in this photo. She had worn it to school before, and was sporting it again for the Science Symposium. However, at 10am, she was dress coded for it being “too short” by Parkview administration who repeatedly made her turn around to “look at the back,” and easily caused her a panic attack, which they then accused her of faking. read more

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What’s Your Beef with the Beetloaf?

The funniest of the Superbowl commercials was Hyundai’s elevator ride to several layers of “hell”. One level was the vegan dinner party where a woman proudly offered her beetloaf as the main course. I laughed my ass off. That was funny, yo.

By Monday, vegans had vented, and Hyundai had already issued an apology.

Seriously?

How can vegans not see that their lack of humor, a threatened boycott, and a demand for an apology, only confirms the view that they are over-the-top oddballs?

Great job, amino acid lackers. read more

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