Category Archives: Religion
In doing research for my book, Sex in the Name of God, I happened across some interesting words and ways.
For bible tidbits regarding homosexuality, which got lumped into the chapter called Beasts and Buttholes, I frequently did synonym searches for homosexual and gay, as well as penis and balls. The results list was staggering and more than amusing.
Of course fag and faggot made the grade. Older folks might recall common usage of the word fag to be a cigarette (drag a fag), and faggot was a bundle of sticks.
The blurby follows, but the basic gist is that Sheikh Saad Al-Hijri, a preacher type dude, said that women can’t drive because their brain is one quarter the size of a man’s brain.
This guy is fricking brilliant. I’d like to take him out for a picnic sometime, so I can pick his brain.
Dumb is dumb, and this applies to all persons. I’d actually like to tell this guy that the next time he is saying stupid shit, please leave the rest of us out of it.
Excerpt from Sex in the Name of God
Chapter 2 – The Penis Pact: A Confusing Cock Tale
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams
It’s a dick; it’s not a jack-o’-lantern. – Joe Rogan
The prized possession of every male was a hot topic in the bible. Religious arguments for and against circumcision also incorporated racism and politics into the plight of the pecker.
Let’s find out which brainiac first came up with the proposition of altering the aesthetics of a man’s ding-a-ling.
The word: boinked. Do tell. What came to mind?
Let’s check usage by reviewing a great book with regards to the Bible’s Cain and Eve dilemma:
Another ordeal involving fruit caused the jealous Cain to kill Abel. Only three people are in existence when we are slammed with a major hole in the plot.
Genesis 4:17 Cain knew his wife. She conceived, and gave birth to Enoch.
Either another woman was created, or Cain boinked his mom.
Theologists can spin their way out of many disturbing situations because they have a few things working in their favor. The good book frequently presents a story and then later retells it with different details. Another ongoing dilemma is that ladies are lucky to get a name mention, let alone any mention. This makes figuring out context and a timeline very difficult especially since early humans lived for hundreds of years, probably due to extremely healthy lifestyles outside of murder.
I have no idea what went down, or how, or who really said what. I wasn’t there, and neither were most everyone else who has an opinion on the matter. All I know is that what is at stake here, literally and figuratively, is a life and death argument over spit.
Apparently a Pakistani Christian woman better known as Asia Bibi, was working the fields, outnumbered by Muslim women, when she drank from the well. Bibi’s “filthy” Christian lips touched their communal drinking cup. An argument escalated where religious insults where hurled from both sides and suddenly someone must die due to blasphemy. That’s quite a short trip from point A to point B.
Here’s a funny.
There I was surrounded by Indians, um no, there I was Facebooking when I received a fascinating message. A woman stumbled across my page and wants to know if I would be interested in . . .
A customized butt plug. WTF!?
She even sent me a picture of what this sex toy would look like, with the cover of my book on it.
At that point, I couldn’t possibly have any use for a butt toy, because I laughed my ass off.
After looking at the website she listed, something about Go F yourself, I then thought she was angry and was insulting me as any decent internet troll would.
As per my last blog, I promised my creative efforts improved when it came to video making.
Since I am making a comedic stab at the bible, I would like to quote from my book at the end of chapter one, which is called Nudity and Incest. This not only shows the humor you are in for, but the not so one-sided approach I took upon representing the juiciest tidbits regarding sexual relations in the bible.
Since the creation of man, there have been issues involving nudity, gender roles, sex, murder, incest, genocide, and drunkenness, which unfolded in that order. All we really know, and a sound argument against evolution, is that not much has changed.