Category Archives: #sarcasm
So there I was redditting when I came across a diddy in Ezekiel 20 that amused me. Somehow, I missed including a good biblical passage into my book, Sex in the Name of God.
Ezekiel 23 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
There is a hint of jealousy regarding size, and God forbid women should get any big ideas.
This sounds like a true case of “penis envy,” a term coined by the famous Sigmund Freud wherein women don’t have penises; therefore they are envious of men.
There must be something to be said about the connection between advertising and bowel obsession. Several years ago, commercials proclaimed the wonders of yogurt, which could assist in the gastrointestinal process of food going into the pie hole, and coming out of the brown eye. Thanks for the overly graphic anatomy lesson, but I was already in-the-know.
Recently, I was watching the boob tube, when an interesting commercial aired. A beautiful woman’s face filled the frame.
Spoiler alert: Pan out and we see that this woman is sitting on the toilet with her underwear around her ankles, which pretty much spoils any previous thoughts one might have had about this hot blonde.
This news item was pure comedy. Three people have been convicted for their membership in a Neo-Nazi white supremacy group. Two of them had a child together and named the kid “Adolf” after their revered idol.
Proud father, Adam Thomas, has the right white name, with blue eyes to match. The mother, Claudia Patatas, might only be able to pass the white trash test.
Next we learn of a fourteen year age gap. Perhaps someone has taken advantage of someone else. Thomas, age 22, who has a quick eye for determining who has the white right, versus Patatas, age 38, who has the ability to make a man turn a blind eye.
The blurby follows, but the basic gist is that Sheikh Saad Al-Hijri, a preacher type dude, said that women can’t drive because their brain is one quarter the size of a man’s brain.
This guy is fricking brilliant. I’d like to take him out for a picnic sometime, so I can pick his brain.
Dumb is dumb, and this applies to all persons. I’d actually like to tell this guy that the next time he is saying stupid shit, please leave the rest of us out of it.
The word: boinked. Do tell. What came to mind?
Let’s check usage by reviewing a great book with regards to the Bible’s Cain and Eve dilemma:
Another ordeal involving fruit caused the jealous Cain to kill Abel. Only three people are in existence when we are slammed with a major hole in the plot.
Genesis 4:17 Cain knew his wife. She conceived, and gave birth to Enoch.
Either another woman was created, or Cain boinked his mom.
Theologists can spin their way out of many disturbing situations because they have a few things working in their favor. The good book frequently presents a story and then later retells it with different details. Another ongoing dilemma is that ladies are lucky to get a name mention, let alone any mention. This makes figuring out context and a timeline very difficult especially since early humans lived for hundreds of years, probably due to extremely healthy lifestyles outside of murder.
Here’s a funny.
There I was surrounded by Indians, um no, there I was Facebooking when I received a fascinating message. A woman stumbled across my page and wants to know if I would be interested in . . .
A customized butt plug. WTF!?
She even sent me a picture of what this sex toy would look like, with the cover of my book on it.
At that point, I couldn’t possibly have any use for a butt toy, because I laughed my ass off.
After looking at the website she listed, something about Go F yourself, I then thought she was angry and was insulting me as any decent internet troll would.
Hopefully this is the closest I will ever come to having this type of footage available online. My book, Sex in the Name of God, is complete and available for purchase.
After looking into some options, I felt an explainer video was needed. People need to understand this book covers real bible passages in a humorous fashion, because scripture is often ridiculous when it comes to the subject of sex and human relations.
Off to a cheapo website I went looking for entrepreneurs. After contacting a few folks who said, oh hell no, I posted an inquiry. Out of the responses, I purchased several, knowing full well my money might go down the toilet.
Mayor R. Rex Parris of Lancaster, California wants to ban ties in his city. I’m all for it.
The tie is the most ridiculous piece of clothing, ever. Wrapping a rope around your neck is a bad move and the same goes for any piece of material. Mr. Parris is concerned about blood flow being cut off. Hear, hear, Mayor. Let’s add in the questionable act of giving your enemies a dangerous handle on your life. Even more dubious is the fact that this clothing item is basically an arrow that extends down to, and points towards a man’s penis. What does it mean?
The beautiful Bailey Davis, NFL cheerleader for the New Orleans Saints, whose team is known as the New Orleans Saintsations, claims she was fired after posting an Instagram pic of herself in lingerie.
Who cares about her photo? Well, the hypocrites do.
The NFL team’s employee handbook says: “Nude, semi-nude, or lingerie photography is strictly prohibited and terms for immediate dismissal.”
Um, excuse me, but aren’t all the cheerleaders on the field semi-nude? Does the NFL believe people are watching these scantily clad ladies bounce around for their athleticism? I think we all know what’s going on here.