Category Archives: Sex
So there I was redditting when I came across a diddy in Ezekiel 20 that amused me. Somehow, I missed including a good biblical passage into my book, Sex in the Name of God.
Ezekiel 23 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
There is a hint of jealousy regarding size, and God forbid women should get any big ideas.
This sounds like a true case of “penis envy,” a term coined by the famous Sigmund Freud wherein women don’t have penises; therefore they are envious of men.
Headline news tells us that radio station WDOK in Cleveland, Ohio is refusing to play the song, Baby It’s Cold Outside.
This duet involves a man trying to convince a lady friend to stay, either longer or for the evening, while the woman seems to be struggling with her conscience.
That’s my take, anyhow.
Naysayers are now claiming this classic to be akin to a rape song.
People are pointing to the phrases, “The answer is no” and “I really must go”. Yes, but she also seems to waffle with “I ought to say no,” and “Maybe just a half a drink more”.
Religious institutions, especially Catholicism, have not been kind to women. Nuns are very much on the decline because they weren’t taken care of as well as the men. Women also complain that the opportunity for rising up in the ranks is poor.
Having women in charge might fix a whole lotta messes.
Yet, it is beyond me why women would want to claw their way to the top of an organization that views them with less regard, is overly concerned with their vaginas, extols money, and molests children.
Many solar eclipses ago, I knew a guy who always carried a towel. He was an employee of the father of a friend. Whenever he came around, he would always place his towel on a chair before sitting down.
Was this dude a character straight out of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Besides this one obsession, he didn’t seem to exhibit any other OCD behaviors, and he didn’t seem like a neat freak. To the contrary, he was usually somewhat disheveled and more than a little sweaty.
So one day, I finally ask the guy: “Why do you always sit on a towel?”
In doing research for my book, Sex in the Name of God, I happened across some interesting words and ways.
For bible tidbits regarding homosexuality, which got lumped into the chapter called Beasts and Buttholes, I frequently did synonym searches for homosexual and gay, as well as penis and balls. The results list was staggering and more than amusing.
Of course fag and faggot made the grade. Older folks might recall common usage of the word fag to be a cigarette (drag a fag), and faggot was a bundle of sticks.
Excerpt from Sex in the Name of God
Chapter 2 – The Penis Pact: A Confusing Cock Tale
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams
It’s a dick; it’s not a jack-o’-lantern. – Joe Rogan
The prized possession of every male was a hot topic in the bible. Religious arguments for and against circumcision also incorporated racism and politics into the plight of the pecker.
Let’s find out which brainiac first came up with the proposition of altering the aesthetics of a man’s ding-a-ling.
The word: boinked. Do tell. What came to mind?
Let’s check usage by reviewing a great book with regards to the Bible’s Cain and Eve dilemma:
Another ordeal involving fruit caused the jealous Cain to kill Abel. Only three people are in existence when we are slammed with a major hole in the plot.
Genesis 4:17 Cain knew his wife. She conceived, and gave birth to Enoch.
Either another woman was created, or Cain boinked his mom.
Theologists can spin their way out of many disturbing situations because they have a few things working in their favor. The good book frequently presents a story and then later retells it with different details. Another ongoing dilemma is that ladies are lucky to get a name mention, let alone any mention. This makes figuring out context and a timeline very difficult especially since early humans lived for hundreds of years, probably due to extremely healthy lifestyles outside of murder.
Here’s a funny.
There I was surrounded by Indians, um no, there I was Facebooking when I received a fascinating message. A woman stumbled across my page and wants to know if I would be interested in . . .
A customized butt plug. WTF!?
She even sent me a picture of what this sex toy would look like, with the cover of my book on it.
At that point, I couldn’t possibly have any use for a butt toy, because I laughed my ass off.
After looking at the website she listed, something about Go F yourself, I then thought she was angry and was insulting me as any decent internet troll would.