I’m Being Blackmailed!!!

I received this ominous and unscrupulous email, which was in my inbox, to me, from me, without the pictures as follows:

[Begin email]

I have bad news for you.
19/07/2018 – on this day I hacked your operating system and got full access to your account.

It is useless to change the password, my malware intercepts it every time.

How it was:
In the software of the router to which you were connected that day, there was a vulnerability. I first hacked this router and placed my malicious code on it.
When you entered in the Internet, my trojan was installed on the operating system of your device.

After that, I made a full dump of your disk (I have all your address book, history of viewing sites, all files, phone numbers and addresses of all your contacts).

A month ago, I wanted to lock your device and ask for a small amount of money to unlock.
But I looked at the sites that you regularly visit, and came to the big delight of your favorite resources. I’m talking about sites for adults.

I want to say – you are a big, big pervert. You have unbridled fantasy!!!

After that, an idea came to my mind.
I made a screenshot of the intimate website where you have fun (you know what it is about, right?).
After that, I made a screenshot of your joys (using the camera of your device) and joined all together. It turned out beautifully, do not doubt.

I am strongly belive that you would not like to show these pictures to your relatives, friends or colleagues. I think $701 is a very small amount for my silence.
Besides, I spent a lot of time on you!

I accept money only in Bitcoins.
My BTC wallet: 1G8GBgFbSiXP63ifNpiGPkGkXNyg4vbddH

You do not know how to replenish a Bitcoin wallet?
In any search engine write “how to send money to btc wallet”. It’s easier than send money to a credit card!

For payment you have a little more than two days (exactly 50 hours).
Do not worry, the timer will start at the moment when you open this letter. Yes, yes .. it has already started!

After payment, my virus and dirty photos with you self-destruct automatically.
Narrative, if I do not receive the specified amount from you, then your device will be blocked, and all your contacts will receive a photos with your “joys”.

I want you to be prudent.
– Do not try to find and destroy my virus! (All your data is already uploaded to a remote server)
– Do not try to contact me (this is not feasible, I sent you an email from your account)
– Various security services will not help you; formatting a disk or destroying a device will not help either, since your data is already on a remote server.

P.S. I guarantee you that I will not disturb you again after payment, as you are not my single victim. This is a hacker code of honor.

From now on, I advise you to use good antiviruses and update them regularly (several times a day)!

Don’t be mad at me, everyone has their own work.

[End email.]

Let’s examine the facts, of which there are two.

1. The English is pretty good (not that an international hacker has to have good English, but the attempt was appreciated.)

2. I’m a big, big pervert.

When thinking about forking over my hard earned bucks, I had to focus on the contradiction between the brilliance of this plan, and the brainiac behind it.

Fault No. 1 It took you from July to November to come up with a scheme that went from unlocking a locked computer to blackmailing me for naughty photos.

For that, I will dock the extortion fee by $400 for being stupid.

Fault No. 2 You should have asked for more money. Any illegal move that might find you surrounded by questionably horny thugs in a prison cell deserves a better understanding of the risk-reward ratio.

That dense interpretation will cost an additional $300 from said fee.

Fault No. 3 Any silly snapshot of how I look while viewing a porn site would make for a hilarious story to be enjoyed among my friends, family, and colleagues. Additionally, this scenario could earn me some sympathy and/or street cred.

For this supposedly scariest threat, which is actually the least and the lamest, another whopping $1 will be deducted from the blackmail bill.

Hmm . . Looks like we’re even, fool.

As for the “hacker code of honor”: there is no honor in blackmail, my friendly felon. Fuck off.

Wilfred Knight

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Blogging About Sex, Politics, Religion
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