Mayor R. Rex Parris of Lancaster, California wants to ban ties in his city. I’m all for it.
The tie is the most ridiculous piece of clothing, ever. Wrapping a rope around your neck is a bad move and the same goes for any piece of material. Mr. Parris is concerned about blood flow being cut off. Hear, hear, Mayor. Let’s add in the questionable act of giving your enemies a dangerous handle on your life. Even more dubious is the fact that this clothing item is basically an arrow that extends down to, and points towards a man’s penis. What does it mean?
Wearing a tie in many professions is downright dangerous. It’s a no-no for anyone who bends over whether mechanic or waiter. Yet, wearing of the tie is expected for white collar stiffs to show they are higher in social and economic status. It’s a statement that one is better than others. Offset this custom with the fact that politicians often omit the tie to show they can relate to and identify with working class Americans.
Women often complain about having to pay more for their clothing and cleaning thereof, but ties are the best counterargument available. The mandatory workplace placement of a leash around a gal’s neck would be deemed controversial and misogynistic, and yet it is the norm for dudes.
The only bitch here is being made to purchase and wear overpriced slats of material.
Constrictor, physical disadvantage, professional danger, phallic symbol, statement of superiority, and uncomfortable all point to the same penis arrow that is a huge waste of money.
I believe Mayor Parris is on to something here. Not only should ties be banned in the city of Lancaster, but they should be illegal in all of America.
Support the #tieban