Scientology: Where’s the Religious Coup?

Politicians do it, gang members do it; the power grab is even a tried and true technique in the mafia.

Why don’t cult members seize the opportunity for power?

Take, for instance, David Miscavige. This crazed and abusive dictator of Scientology is even shorter than Tom Cruise. At 5’3”, it wouldn’t be difficult to toss this whiny bitch of a man into a closet long enough to enact a takeover.

Whether due to vanity or good nature, why isn’t there at least one person willing to do the deed that would be appreciated by the many? Initiating a coup would be bold, but once started, many would fall in line.

Scientologists aren’t allowed to have access to information. However, higher-ups monitor the media so they can form their creepy deny-and-attack responses to every single claim of abuse that has ever been made.

Mr. or Ms. Higher-up, if you want a better life, and this blog happens across your computer screen, please don’t hesitate to think this over.

It’s really quite simple.

Lock the little man in a closet and get enough people on board to form a new board. Start with the ones that have been physically beaten. This would not be a short list. Call the police and have Miscavige arrested. Then, play his own game against him. Numerous people should file restraining orders to prevent mini-man from re-entering the compound. In case he does make a legal claim on his living quarters, employ your strange techniques of cutting off his access to outside services: phone, television and internet. Whenever he leaves his house, call the police for a restraining order violation. Make sure to take video.

Anticipate that Miscavige might make a break for another compound. Be proactive and deploy your spies. Any and all information showing the evil doings of Miscavige should be openly dispersed to all other premises. Hold assemblies to tell the masses. Enact new legislation to call for the immediate removal of mean-man from any Scientology property for trespassing.

Easy Peasy.

Next, release Shelley Miscavige. Then, reverse every creepy Scientology practice, including extortion of funds from the rich and the poor, Nazi Germany report writing on others, breaking up families due to the practice of disconnection, spying on and threatening ex-members, forcing people to work for little to no wages, and so on.

Basically, stop doing everything that Scientology has told you to do.

Whoever ends up on top would have a lot of money to play with. I would suggest a complete disbandment with financial reparations. However, if you must keep the concept of Xenu the volcanic bomber who is responsible for current aliens-in-situ, do so. But, get rid of the pay-your-way to spiritual harmony. Instead of hurting your own members, start doing some good in the world. An increased happiness in congregants might even lead to a growth in membership.

Good luck.

Wilfred Knight

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