Tag Archives: #christianity
Excerpt from Sex in the Name of God
Chapter 2 – The Penis Pact: A Confusing Cock Tale
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams
It’s a dick; it’s not a jack-o’-lantern. – Joe Rogan
The prized possession of every male was a hot topic in the bible. Religious arguments for and against circumcision also incorporated racism and politics into the plight of the pecker.
Let’s find out which brainiac first came up with the proposition of altering the aesthetics of a man’s ding-a-ling.
The word: boinked. Do tell. What came to mind?
Let’s check usage by reviewing a great book with regards to the Bible’s Cain and Eve dilemma:
Another ordeal involving fruit caused the jealous Cain to kill Abel. Only three people are in existence when we are slammed with a major hole in the plot.
Genesis 4:17 Cain knew his wife. She conceived, and gave birth to Enoch.
Either another woman was created, or Cain boinked his mom.
Theologists can spin their way out of many disturbing situations because they have a few things working in their favor. The good book frequently presents a story and then later retells it with different details. Another ongoing dilemma is that ladies are lucky to get a name mention, let alone any mention. This makes figuring out context and a timeline very difficult especially since early humans lived for hundreds of years, probably due to extremely healthy lifestyles outside of murder.
Hopefully this is the closest I will ever come to having this type of footage available online. My book, Sex in the Name of God, is complete and available for purchase.
After looking into some options, I felt an explainer video was needed. People need to understand this book covers real bible passages in a humorous fashion, because scripture is often ridiculous when it comes to the subject of sex and human relations.
Off to a cheapo website I went looking for entrepreneurs. After contacting a few folks who said, oh hell no, I posted an inquiry. Out of the responses, I purchased several, knowing full well my money might go down the toilet.
Religion intrigues me because a small group of people who follow a leader, and ascribe to certain practices, is often viewed as a cult. Add in millions of people and suddenly this is a norm.
I had never read the bible before. Besides wanting to know what people were really following, I was curious to learn about the basics. How would sex and politics be treated within a religious guideline? Well, I found out.
The bible: Wow. It’s disturbing.
Putting all murder and mayhem aside, I can now say that if you like sex, and lots of it, then the bible is for you. There was more than enough material to write a book about the juiciest parts; a whooping 197 pages.
Joy Behar of The View is in hot water for mocking Mike Pence about hearing from Jesus.
The entire fuss started with Omarosa, famed Celebrity Apprentice contestant and former White House staffer who seemed deathly afraid of Mike Pence’s strong religious beliefs. If he believes Jesus is telling him to say things, yeah, that scares me, too.
Joy took this information and declared that it is okay to talk to Jesus, but if one hears back he is mentally ill. Not an unsound argument.
Atheists such as myself would further argue one is not dealing with a full deck of cards if one speaks to a dead dude on a daily basis.
I finally finished reading the tedium called the Bible.
I have learned that everything said in the Bible can be undone by a different passage elsewhere in the Bible, sometimes as close as a sentence or two away.
Rules in the New Testament pretty much say you no longer have to follow a lot of the rules of the Old Testament. There is just more contradiction and confusion. Many times you are forced to ask, why did He let that happen? Sometimes He intervenes, and others times not, and then He blames the man. From time to time, we all like to blame the man, but this case is different because He made the man.
I am going to write a book. But first I need to do a lot of research, and that involves reading the Bible. I have never read it page to page. Twice in my life I started to read the Bible, but burned out in the first chapter on both occasions.
So far I am still in the Old Testament. It is an incredible read. We are not talking sex, drugs, and rock and roll, but rather incest and murder.
I am seriously wondering if this God is tricking people as the devil in disguise. God is mean, evil, vindictive, murderous, controlling, and contradictory. How is it that millions of people are able to reconcile his actions? It gives a whole new feeling to the term “God-fearing people”. You should fear him. He is one cruel and twisted dude.