Tag Archives: #sarcasm

Why I Can’t Do Action Movies

Been there, done that. I can no longer enjoy a movie where elements are so similar I don’t feel like I’m in for any plot surprises. I’m annoyed watching it go down.

The Good Guy: He is smart, handsome, and strong. When faced with twenty assassins, all coming at him from different directions at the same time, he can kill each one quickly. One karate chop to the neck, one head twist, one kick to the abdomen, and voila, all dead. But then there’s the really bad guy, who for some reason becomes a ten minute brawl, until the good guy prevails or the bad guy gets away. If this happens toward the end of the movie, it might turn out that the bad guy isn’t really dead. He rises for his final attempt of murder, and is killed again; and maybe even again and again. read more

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m Being Blackmailed!!!

I received this ominous and unscrupulous email, which was in my inbox, to me, from me, without the pictures as follows:

[Begin email]

I have bad news for you.
19/07/2018 – on this day I hacked your operating system and got full access to your account.

It is useless to change the password, my malware intercepts it every time.

How it was:
In the software of the router to which you were connected that day, there was a vulnerability. I first hacked this router and placed my malicious code on it.
When you entered in the Internet, my trojan was installed on the operating system of your device. read more

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Odd Man Out

Am I the only guy that has an odd inseam?

At stores and online, jeans tend to have even inseams.  That might not be so bad if we were on the metric system, but this jump takes me from high water nerd to a sloppy slob in two inches.

Yeah, I have found an occasional odd inseam which lengthens my arousal, but then I am quickly funneled into a lack of style and color choice or to something that is way too expensive.  I am down to two choices at best.

The same can also be said about waist sizes that are slightly off.  Your next two inch choice could mean the difference between the sixties and plumber’s butt. read more

Posted in Comedy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment